Me to Me: I'm Sick of Your Complaints

Have you ever found yourself so discouraged and displeased with a situation that every statement out of your mouth somehow was a complaint? Recently, I had to text my friend circle and tell them I was SICK OF ME and my COMPLAINTS. I asked for accountability to have a positive attitude about some things, and while my situation may not have changed since then, my perspective certainly has. I could sense they were beginning to get a little frustrated with me complaining about the same thing over and over again, and for the sake of them AND ME, I wanted out of that complaint cycle.
Imagine someone nudging you and saying "Get it together!" That's basically what this post is. It is a letter from me to me because "Jameka, I'm sick of your complaints."

How can this help you? If we're honest, sometimes we get caught in cycles of complaints and can be unaware. Keep reading and see if you might see yourself OR do you know someone stuck in a state of complaint that you might help move past it?
Me to Me: I'm Sick of Your Complaints

1. Jameka, I'm sick of your complaints because you're uncomfortable to be around.
"The first few times you complained about _____, it was okay. We let it slide and even agreed with you. Yes, your complaints are valid, but seriously, Sis... it's been 5 months, and you're still complaining. We are tired of you monopolizing the conversation by expressing the same grievances over and over again. Something has to give."

Constant complaining brings the mood all the way down. Complaints bring an intensity and awkward tension. It kills the mood. It makes others feel like they can't quite express joy or happiness because it could be insensitive to the one complaining. Who wants to feel like they have to assimilate to negativity? The struggles in life are tough for us individually, but having SOMEONE ELSE'S negativity projected on to you to carry? That's too much. Have you ever stopped to think about how your constant complaining is impacting those around you and/or their desire to want to be around you?

2. Jameka, I'm sick of your complaints because you say you don't feel some type of way, but really you clearly do because you share the same complaints over and over again.
"Be frank, Sis. Call a spade a spade. What exactly is the problem? If you're complaining because really you just feel ignored and left out, say that instead of tip toeing around and subjecting all of us to this negativity vibe you're bringing. If you feel left out, don't complain that everyone's always busy. Just say you feel left out."

In coaching, we would say, "You have to listen for the request in the complaint." Most times, a complaint is just masking an unnamed emotion. If you start to notice you have a friend or colleague in this forever mood of complaining, stay patient with them. Just ask, "I know you're unhappy. How are you hoping your situation will change?" You have to get the person to name the emotion because most times the constant complaining about the same thing is really just a cry for help and resolution.

3. Jameka, I'm sick of your complaints because you are wallowing and doing NOTHING about it.
"GIRLLLL, if you are truly unhappy there, pray about leaving. If you truly cannot get along with them, pray about what boundaries you might need to set up. If you don't appreciate how they treated you, approach them and talk about it. If you're not going to take any action steps to resolve the issue, then you have to figure out how to live with it while being pleasant and positive. We just can't keep going with this stuckness and purposeless complaints."

Sometimes people are so hurt and emotional about a situation that they cannot see past the complaint. Frustration and not feeling heard often creates an inability to see beyond it and move forward.

My mom has been incredibly helpful to get me to move past complaints. She will let me vent for about 5 minutes, but if I start to just ramble, she says, "OK so what are you going to do? If you wouldn't say all of this to that person, why say it to me? Let's figure out how you're going to move forward." I used to hate it TBH, but I get it. You can't stay stuck in your complaint. Allowing you to vent is good, but only for awhile. Out of love for those around us, we should want to help them resolve whatever conflict they're feeling, whether external or internal, so that we can live full lives of joy.

Is Negative Nancy or Negative Nathan in your friend circle? In the most loving way possible , tell them, "I'm sick of your complaints."